My Mom / My Dad and Alzheimers

Hi everyone, as Mother’s Day approaches, my Mom is more and more on my mind. I miss her so much. She died 2 years ago on Good Friday. Why is it that you need someone so much more after they are gone? Supposedly, as you get older, you expect to get some wisdom, but sometimes I think that I just don’t even come close to wisdom.

Anyway, Mom has been gone now for 2 years (and Daddy has been gone for 1 year) and I still firmly believe that we can fight off Alzheimers. I still firmly believe that if Mom had had a real chance of surviving the nursing home accident and the subsequent negligence, we would have had a very good chance of getting Mom back some from the abyss of Alzheimers. There are so many alternative health solutions to help with these kinds of diseases, especially if we eliminate toxins from the body and eliminate toxic products from our homes. And that is just two alternative solutions.

Mom and I enjoyed our last years together, maintaining her beautiful roses on the side of their home. She and I would go down the row of rose bushes and “ooh and aah” over the beautiful variations in colors…she had green, purple, white, red, yellow, peach, pinks and a few others that I can’t remember. They were gorgeous. We trimmed out some of her great Hosa ground cover and then planted those cuts in my flower bed right in front of our home. It all took just great and I get beautiful blurple (blue purple) colored flowers with the Hosa every spring/summer.

Mom helped me out (supervising) when I painted my kitchen and my bathroom. We giggled a lot but had fun being together. She also helped me pick out beautiful fabric to cover the kitchen chair cushions. It was perfect.

One of the most favorite things Mom and I did together was to go to the Le Peeps close by my house for brunch. We frequently did this and the waitresses there got to know Mom very well and also understood that she had Alzheimers. They were so wonderful with Mom and she delighted in their attention. Mom was a very tiny woman but she could really put away the good food at Le Peeps. She almost always got their Le Petite French Toast with strawberries and ate every bite.

I know that I mentioned in previous blog articles of Mom that she was not a particularly nurturing person but that with Alzheimers, she became the sweetest and most loving Mom I could ever have hoped for. When I would walk into the room where she was (her home, the secured Alzheimers assisted living facility or anywhere she happened to be), her face would light up with the greatest delight in seeing me. It would always make my day. She would then do everything in her power to make sure I had food to eat, or a blanket to cover me up if I stayed overnight in her home, or take me out on the patio to sit with her and enjoy the day and her roses or whatever she could do that might make me happier. She would constantly ask me if I was happy. I would constantly reassure her that I was happier than I ever thought possible and she would just laugh with glee. Throughout her Alzheimers time, she was always making sure that I was happy or checking to make sure that Daddy was alright. It was amazing to watch her and love her.

When my sister, Pattie, would drive out during the year 5 or 6 times (she came out as often as possible and she was a deaf ed teacher so it was not always easy for her to come out to visit), she and I would take Mom for drives in the mountains and Mom was always so pleased. Pattie and I would frequently take Mom to lunch at Le Peeps, Village Inn or somewhere special and Mom was always thrilled.

One of my favorite places to go with Mom was to the Goodwill Center on Broadway. We would walk up and down all the aisles and Mom would pick out things to show me. We always came home with clothes for her and clothes for me. It was fun and she loved it.

One of my very favorite pictures of Mom and Dad is below. I miss them both so much.
Mom and Dad

As you can see, Daddy was about 5’8″ and Mom was about 5′. This was early in Mom’s Alzheimers diagnosis. It was a terribly difficult time for my Dad. I lived only 10 minutes away from Mom and Dad so Daddy often called me to come over when he couldn’t get Mom to stop crying. Of course, in the early days of Alzheimers, Mom understood very well that she was losing everything: her memories. Eventually, she did not know who Daddy was. She always seemed to know me though…which was a blessing for me and hopefully, for her! I would always go over when Daddy called and climb into bed with Mom. I would hold her and rock her, telling her that I would never leave her. Eventually, she would calm down some.

Often I would spend the night on the couch and she would sneak out all night long to be sure that I was covered up with a warm blanket. I reassured her and led her gently back to bed each time. But 15 minutes later, she would be sneaking out to the living room again to check on me. She was so cute.

I have a special Whispers From Heaven windchime hanging in my front room that holds a tiny picture of my Mom and Dad. It also has a very special message hanging with it that reads like this:

When I left this world without you
I know it made you blue.
Your tears fell so freely,
I watched; I know this is true.

While you were weeping,
Days after I passed away –
While all was silent within me,
I saw you kneel to pray.

From this wonderful place called heaven
Where all my pain is gone,
I send a gentle breeze to whisper,
“My loved ones, please go on”

The peace that I have found here
Goes far beyond compare
No rain, no clouds, no suffering —
Just LOVE from everywhere.

You need not be troubled
Just stay close to GOD in prayer
Someday we’ll be reunited
My love, HIS love surrounds you always,
EVERYWHERE!

Blessings to all who read this blog with care and love! Be blessed with wisdom, love, peace and hope for all that is wonderful!

Warmly,
Connie Clark
303-770-3180